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OK folks, let’s take a deep, cleansing breath. In aaaand out. Good. Now that we’ve all calmed down, it’s time to discuss Mars — rationally. As you’ve surely heard, NASA is planning to present findings at a meeting of the American Geophysical Union in San Francisco on Monday about new discoveries made by the Mars Curiosity rover. And as you’ve surely heard too, the news could be really, really big.

“Undisclosed Finding By Mars Rover Fuels Intrigue”, reported the New York Times. “Will NASA soon announce discovery of Martian fossils by Curiosity Rover?” asked Examiner.com. ”A fossil? A monolith? Jimmy Hoffa? Mars rover finds … something,” offered Fox News.